When Chester & Robin & Chris took their lives, I realised you didn’t have to know the person to be deeply sad that they’d died – you just needed to feel something of a connection with what they’d created.
I can’t pretend I’d listened to much Frightened Rabbit before hearing Scott Hutchison, founding member, singer and songwriter for the band, had gone missing and subsequently killed himself. I just listened to some of their music this evening. It honestly feels like a shame I hadn’t sooner, or had the opportunity to see them perform live.
Note: do not say ‘committed suicide’. Try your very best to start avoiding that particular phrase. Yes, it was suicide, but ‘committed’ connotates crime. What he did is not a crime. It was terribly sad to follow and read about what must have been an awfully dark moment in Scott’s life, but it was not a crime and he did not ‘commit’ anything. It’s a place we may all find ourselves in one day – seriously – so our language should say: what you’re considering is final, but there is hope right here and now, and we’ll find it together. Compassion and the construction of real relationships within the communities we live saves lives.
Like our physical health, mental health needs to be trained and fed well. Look after yourselves. Let other people support you and, if they know what they’re talking about, ask them to teach you how to support yourself. I’m firstname.lastname@example.org if you need someone to chat to.
Some quotes from Frightened Rabbit and Scott:
I might never catch a mouse and present it in my mouth to make you feel you’re with someone who deserves to be with you. But there’s one thing we’ve got going, and it’s the only worth knowing. It’s got lots to do with magnets and the pull of the moon. Poke
You are all wasting your time here. You’ve got no right to waste mine as well, my dear. Make your music, make it so loud and so trite. Make your music, make music that some cunt might like. Music Now
I don’t have a clue how to behave when I’m around you. Behave
It’ll be like square one where we fell in love. Forget about square two, there was no me and you. Just like square one where we fell in love, under the tree forget about square three. Oh, that wasn’t me. Like square one where we fell in love, forget about square five; I was only half-alive. Square 9
Jesus is just a Spanish boy’s name. How come one man got so much fame? Head Rolls Off
I am ill but I’m not dead, and I don’t know which of those I’d prefer because that limb which I have lost – it was the only thing holding me up. The Modern Leper
I’ve crippled your heart a hundred times and still can’t work out why. See, I’ve got this disease I can’t shake, and I’m just rattling through life. The Modern Leper
When it’s all gone, something carries on. And it’s not morbid at all, just that nature’s had enough of you. Head Rolls Off
Nothing like someone new. And she was nothing like you. Nothing Like You
When my blood stops, someone else’s will thaw. When my head rolls off, someone else’s will turn. And while I’m alive, I’ll make tiny changes to earth. Head Rolls Off
I’ll soon go. I’ll be lost in the thoughts of tomorrow, and my warm heart, it will soon go home. And I won’t be cold. I’ll soon go. Soon Go